i was rollin on her like bob the builder
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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