We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
