laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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