I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize