yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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