True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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