Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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