I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
