Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
