...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize
