I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize