Fuck appropriateness.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
