My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I want to be your penis for a week.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
