his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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