can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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