did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
