It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
