actually, I'm a sock model
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
