A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize