We're facebook friends in real life
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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