Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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