Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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