i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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