We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
