Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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