Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
