Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
