Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
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