They should really pass out barf bags in church
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He shit in the fireplace
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
