please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I had to cum in my sink.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
