I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
