remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
