When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
