I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
