is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
