i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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