Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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