remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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