so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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