I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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