Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
