I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
