I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Still dying that you shit outside
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We need to get me chipped asap
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
