So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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