Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
