he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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