I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
