If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Mom said you looked used
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
