U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
