I have demons in me.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
