Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
