out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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