Im at strip club and am horny
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
