I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
