My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We got so high we made milksteak
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
