Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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