my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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