I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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