she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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