ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize